Relationships are complex spaces where several layers of reality coexist: we find not only current events that are part of the life of the couple, but also be a huge amount of past conditioning of both partners.
There are unconscious patterns of family relationship dynamics, learned during early childhood, as well as unresolved issues from previous partners, outstanding issues of childhood and adolescence, and epigenetically transmitted
intergenerational and transgenerational inherited trauma. Yet, most of us treat conflicts that arise in relationships as if they related to just what happens today. Therefore, very often, the problems are not easily resolved.
In that sense, working with a perspective of complexity gives us an advantageous lens over other approaches to couple’s therapy.
The fundamental intention of couple’s work is then to support the couple in understanding clearly and separate the issues of the past that they need to resolve today to effectively deal with what does belong in the present relationship,
and effectively address the emotional conditioning which each member brings, and which has to do with previous dynamics that have not been resolved.
We also seek to support the couple in communicating effectively, in a respectful and authentic way, taking care of their bond and each other also to achieve the highest possible wellbeing for both members of the couple,
and the couple itself. Therefore, in our approach we work both with the couple in joint sessions, a well as individually with each member.
Both partners want to work to stay together
If both partners want to work to stay together, meet their difficulties in the best way possible and grow the relationship, we establish together what issues are most relevant for them and explore relational dynamics, past conditioning
and communication patterns that are preventing them from achieving their goals. We also explore the resources they already bring to the table with them to see how they can make use of them in a more effective way. We help
them get clarity on what is getting in the way of their connection, as well as increase their capacity to face their issues together, as a team. We work to support the couple to resolve their differences and be able
not only to continue how they have been, but to rekindle their love, grow and flourish together.
The couple has clarity that they want to separate
If the couple has clarity that they want to separate, the work goes in the sense of creating a base of healthy communication and respect for carrying out the dissolution process. This process is always complex and important part
of the job is to help the couple to process the grief and anger in a healthy way through communication, compassion, respect and responsibility.
In the event of disparity between the partners in the degree of commitment to the relationship (a member wants to stay together and the other is not sure), we explore individually and jointly whether it is possible or desirable
to resume the link and rescue the relationship, or if rather what is authentic for the couple is to dissolve the link in the most caring way possible. We take the time necessary to achieve clarity on the matter, as there is
usually not a simple decision. Having determined this, we proceed to support the couple to achieve the established objective.
A couple who comes in questions whether it is best to stay together or separate
If a couple who comes in questions whether it is best to stay together or separate, we make it clear that we do not consider it our place to determine whether a they should stay together or not. We believe that each partner has
the right to determine whether s/he wants to keep the relationship and work to address the difficulties in their path, or if what the person needs is to dissolve the relationship in the most respectful and healthy as possible
after giving their all (whatever that might look like for each person) in trying to make things work. Our commitment is to not ignore any of the members and take care of the relational space, supporting them to build
the best possible relationship between them, be it as a couple or not, and to help them find their own clarity. One premise we do believe in, is that one cannot leave a relationship with someone one loves, unless one is clear
there is nothing else that can be done.
Couples sessions are 1 hour 30 minutes, and the fee is $ 225 USD. For information on adjustments to our fee (we offer a sliding scale), please contact Laura directly by email: firstname.lastname@example.org,
or by phone, message or WhatsApp: +52(55) 47318310 in Mexico City.